Self Belief

Self-Belief 

Nihita has been working in the IT since last 20 years, her life was woven with all complexity and generality of  IT.  But past few days were disastrous to her, she lost her husband Vijit  in a car accident and herself was seriously injured. It was 24th day since accident when she regain consciousness.

She has all friends around but a lot challenges has to face, this is day when she back home and  realize that her son Anirvan not very much responding to her. She was still no recovered from the loss and instead of getting support, her son somewhere put the blame on her for the loss. She caught him smoking in the afternoon and then the whole world broke,  Anirvan voice was very straight and blunt "Due to you I lost my Dad, why not you died, you killed him, you never like him".   A young mind was now full of all filth, Nihita is almost broken. He was the only reason to make him alive and such words are like melted glass to her ears. She decided to end her life, this idea sound great to her, end to all sorrows in one minute.

In the afternoon she wake up with all dull mind, her phone was constantly ringing.  Her leaves was now  over, her HR was calling  her to join she told she will come tomorrow, which she know will never going to come in her life. Now she first want to give all bank account all financial information to her son so that he should not be having trouble post her life. Due to this she open some of the old boxes and now her marriage pictures was in front of her, and thought starts flowing, her life before the marriage, how much her parents was happy to see her happy, Her dress and the day of marriage, the day Anirvan came to their life, his first touch, his softness, his first voice. Her efforts to make him speak, every night she spend  when he was ill. The days when doctors told she can never be mother again. Her first loss her father …Now thoughts are becoming stronger, when she has not let his son go when he was not speaking at all and now her life can’t be alone finish due to the person she bring on this earth,  now her mood is swinging.

In evening she sit with the sleeping bills, a series of thoughts start coming to her mind.  Her father was a firm believer on her, even when all the odds are against him to send her to engineering college he supported and when her husband was going through the lowest period of life her father convey full support on her and then life became on track.  Her husband Vijit came to her many time with his problems, now with one problem she is ending her life when she knows it’s a reaction of great loss. She is firm now and throw all he pills in dustbin and move towards Anirvan.


She called Anirvan to her room, there was a deep silence in the room, she then start speaking  "Anirvan I don’t know why you think I am responsible for your father death, while we both in same car and it could be any one and I would be happy to choose his life over min if given a choice. Anirvan its up and down of life we supported each other in every movement, yes there was fight but there was a lot of love also. Vijit and you are my life, I know l lost him to due to the incident which was out of my control but I want to live life for you, for me. I know just because of small disputes between us lead you to this conclusion but believe me this is part and parcel of married life where two people agreed and disagreed on daily basis but it does not make their love less to each other. I love you and Vijit and will continue to do so but I want your support to overcome this grief. Her voice is getting stronger Life is not certain but I am there for you and with my love, but you tell me why you make me guilty without hearing anything from me.

Anirvan now start melting, all the pain in his heart is coming out slowly, his crying can be easily heard from the outside. His eyes now flowing will tears, he suddenly stand up and hug Nihita tightly.  Nihita also burst into tears but with a joy to have her son back. Now sun is moving down with a hope of a new and bright day ahead.